Just a few months ago, I posted about a pillow I made for a friend who had lost a baby around 16 weeks. Another friend was pregnant and due around the same time as the first friend (we all go to church together and know each other well). As her due date approached, everything was going well. I saw her and talked to her Sunday morning, the day before she was scheduled to have a C-section. Everything was fine and normal until that afternoon. The baby stopped moving, and they went to the hospital and couldn’t find a heartbeat.
Honestly, although I felt so much for my friend and her husband, I know I don’t have the slightest idea what losing a child must feel like (and I pray I never will). Cheyenne, their little girl, looked perfect, and no one knows even know why this happened.
Anyway, aside from trying to help my friend and support her in other ways, I decided to make a quilt for her with her daughter’s name and birthdate on it. I made this one a large lap size, and I used colors that I thought would go well in their living room. She has a dark brown couch and decorates with neutrals. I’ve had this fabric (Chrysalis by Moda) for a while now. I loved how it is girly without being so girly that they couldn’t use it in the living room. For whatever reason, the butterflies also seemed nicely representative of Cheyenne to me.
I chose a simple design, both because I thought my friend would like that and because I wanted to finish it on a quick time frame. I had expected to be making a very different baby quilt. The pictures aren’t great because I finished this late at night right before I went to spend the day with my friend once her husband went back to work.
I know posts like these aren’t exactly uplifting, but it’s important that we acknowledge losses like these. I’ve wondered in the past if gifts/quilts like this might only serve as an unwelcome reminder of something sad, but honestly, I think I’ve realized that a person who has experienced a loss like this doesn’t need a reminder—they think about it all the time anyway, even if sometimes it’s in the back of their minds. So I’m hoping this brings a tiny bit of comfort amidst the pain.